Roosevelt McQueen’s The Fatherless

THE FATHERLESS
by Roosevelt McQueen

You weren’t there to see
The day of my natural birth
The start of my journey
To manhood on earth

I couldn’t talk to you
About my very first crush
And my first heartbreak
Yeah… That was tough

Your hand of correction
When I would fail to obey
Your eyes of disappointment
At the sight of my bad grades

My desire and need for you
Was negligible as a kid
Mom filled your shoes so well
I hardly noticed where you’d fit

Things changed when I got older though
My longing for you escalated
When the Navy became my next move
You weren’t there when I graduated

From bootcamp
To my first duty station
From active duty
To my college situation

Purchasing my first car
Was a bit of challenge
’87 BMW 325i
And much more to manage

Choosing my first apartment
Then getting my first bill
A second, then another came
Life was headed steeply uphill

I sought for you at my wedding
Then later in the courts
Processing the paperwork
And settling a grueling divorce

Are you the one who chose to pursue a dream while simultaneously stripping that ability from someone else?

Deciding to leave behind a child you were to father to a mother whose dreams you cared less than yourself?

Only to return after that child is no longer a suckling asking for change but rather at a time when he’s found fame?

Got an epiphany that if you’re not the CARRIER of the child that you’re not responsible to CARRY that child?

Through my thick and thin
Heartache and pain
Successes and failings
To the end and back again?
You know
All that elementary crap
That comes with basic
Childhood development?

Well…

I hope the dream
You pursued
Came true
And was worth
Every moment
You did NOT spend
Teaching me how
To ride a bike
Falling down
And getting up again

Pointers for my first date
And how the fate
Of that date
Can change
Making her wait
Being late
Or forgetting
Her birthday
And favorite cake

I had to learn a lot
About what
TO DO
Through examples of what
NOT TO DO

Who knew?

Yes…

The need to forgive
Caused my bleeding heart
To live
And relay
The things my mouth
Found difficult to say

However…

You can’t be the one
The credible one
Because the one
Would have found refuge
In being the one
To the one
That required it in the first place

For a decade
I wondered how my life would be
Til God came
Destroyed that yolk and rescued me

He gave me comfort in knowing
That He was fathering me in your absence
Causing me then to believe
His way is all I should be after

Since I submitted to that truth
And walked the path laid for me
It became hard to internalize
The necessity of your necessity

And although I struggle
To shake my need for you sometimes
My child will never be fatherless
When God blesses me with mine

Copyright © 2014, 2015 All rights reserved.

____________________

About the Author:

Roosevelt McQueen is a former member of the US Navy and Florida A&M graduate and author of the novel Perfect Imperfections. McQueen has described his journey after high school as a young man seeking direction. As a college student with an interest in Marketing, he admits a driving passion for writing. Awakening from a dream, he admits the passion became more intense than ever before. Over the years he has worked at perfecting his craft in the fiction and now poetic art forms.

Feature Artwork by: Artist J Taylor (“Pick Me UP” ©2015 All Rights Reserved)

10678579_10205775098070616_4695471817147537840_n

3 thoughts on “Roosevelt McQueen’s The Fatherless

  1. A great narative piece of how a human survived..struggled made his way on top despite of all the consequences in life! Well written Gregory Waits Jr

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s